Loneliness – how it affects mental health
Loneliness. It’s something many of us go through – and yet, it can feel like we’re the only ones. Whether you’ve recently moved somewhere new, are adjusting to a life change, or just feel out of sync with the world around you, loneliness can creep in quietly and stay longer than we’d like.
And when it sticks around, it can take a toll on our mental health.
Let’s dig into why loneliness happens, how it affects our minds and bodies, and what we can do to feel more connected.
About loneliness
Loneliness isn’t just about being alone. It’s about feeling disconnected – like no one really gets you, or that you’re on your own with whatever you’re going through. And that can happen whether you're physically by yourself or surrounded by people.
You might be in a crowded room or scrolling through social media, and still feel completely alone.
Is loneliness a mental health problem?
Loneliness in itself isn’t a mental health diagnosis – but it can have a huge impact on our emotional wellbeing. It can increase feelings of anxiety, low mood, and even lead to depression if it lasts for a long time.
What’s more, if you're already struggling with your mental health, you might feel more isolated – and that can make it harder to reach out, which only adds to the loneliness. It can be a tough cycle to break.
How loneliness affects health
Feeling lonely for a long time doesn’t just impact how we feel emotionally – it can take a toll on our physical health too. Chronic loneliness has been linked to increased stress, poor sleep, and even a higher risk of conditions like heart disease and dementia.
How loneliness affects the brain
Studies have shown that loneliness can affect how our brains work – particularly in areas linked to social connection and emotional regulation. When we feel isolated, our brain might become more sensitive to social threats, making us more anxious or withdrawn.
In short, the brain starts to expect rejection or disconnection, which makes it even harder to open up.
What causes loneliness?
There’s no single cause of loneliness. It often creeps in during big life transitions or changes – starting university, moving to a new country, becoming a parent, losing a loved one, or dealing with illness or disability.
Even happy life changes can leave us feeling disconnected, especially if we don’t have people to share them with.
And sometimes, there’s no clear reason at all. We just feel a bit… out of place. That’s completely valid too.
The loneliness epidemic
Loneliness is incredibly common – more than we often realise. Research shows that young people aged 16–34 are one of the most affected age groups, especially during major life shifts like university or moving cities.
Modern life can also make it harder to connect. We’re online more, face-to-face less. And while social media can help us stay in touch, it can also make us feel like everyone else is living their best life while we’re struggling to get through the day.
If you’ve been feeling lonely, know you’re not alone in that.
How does loneliness feel like?
Loneliness can show up in lots of ways. You might:
Feel anxious about going to social events
Avoid making plans, even though you want company
Struggle to get out of bed or care about your routine
Find it hard to sleep or relax
There’s also emotional loneliness – a longing for deeper connection or understanding – and existential loneliness, where you feel disconnected from the world even when you’re not alone.
None of this means something is wrong with you. It means you’re human.
How can I manage loneliness?
There’s no quick fix – but there are small steps you can take to start feeling more connected again.
Learn more about being comfortable in your own company
Spending time alone doesn’t always have to feel lonely. Doing things you enjoy, even just for yourself – like reading, walking, journaling or getting into a hobby – can help you feel more grounded and self-connected.
Try and open up to people you know
You don’t need to bare your soul – just being honest about how you’re feeling with someone you trust can make a world of difference. Often, you’ll find they’ve felt the same way at some point too.
Take it slow
Sometimes just getting out of the house is enough. That’s more than enough for today. Say hi to a neighbour. Go for a walk. Visit your local library. These little moments of connection can help ease that sense of isolation.
Loneliness and mental health
If your feelings of loneliness are starting to affect your mood, your sleep, or your day-to-day life, it might be worth talking to a therapist.
Talking about how you're feeling in a space that’s free of judgement, pressure or expectation can be a huge relief. You don’t need a ‘reason’ to come to therapy – feeling lonely is reason enough.
Make new connections
Joining a group or club that shares your interests – whether it’s in person or online – can help you feel more connected. And if you don’t know where to start, volunteering can be a lovely way to meet people and do something meaningful.
Try not to compare yourself to others
What you see online isn’t the full picture. Most people only share their highlights, and it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one not invited to the party. You’re not.
Look after yourself
Loneliness can sap your motivation – but little acts of self-care, like eating well, getting fresh air, or doing something you enjoy, can make a big difference.
Even if you’re not feeling particularly sociable, being kind to yourself matters.
Try talking therapies
Person-Centred Therapy, like the one I offer, is all about creating a space where you feel heard, understood, and not judged. We go at your pace, and it’s not about fixing you – because you’re not broken.
A lot of people tell me they leave a session feeling lighter – like they’ve been able to let go of something they didn’t even realise they were carrying. That moment of being truly seen and accepted can be really powerful.
If you’re feeling lonely and not sure where to turn, therapy can help you feel less alone with it all. is all about creating a space where you feel heard, understood, and not judged. We go at your pace, and it’s not about fixing you – because you’re not broken.
Instead, we explore what’s going on together, and gently work out what you need to feel more like yourself again.
If you’re feeling lonely and not sure where to turn, therapy can help you feel less alone with it all.
FAQs about loneliness
What are the symptoms of loneliness?
Feeling sad or disconnected, trouble sleeping, lack of motivation, avoiding social contact, and low self-esteem can all be signs.
Is loneliness bad for your health?
Yes – long-term loneliness can affect both your mental and physical health. It’s been linked to conditions like depression, anxiety, and even heart problems.
Can loneliness go away on its own?
Sometimes, especially if it’s tied to a temporary situation. But if it sticks around, it might help to take some gentle steps or speak to someone who can support you.
Does therapy help with loneliness?
Absolutely. Therapy can offer a safe, consistent connection and help you understand your feelings, build self-compassion and gently reconnect with others.
FAQs about Holly Ibbs – Therapy
What type of therapy does Holly offer?
Holly offers Person-Centred Therapy – a gentle, honest, and supportive approach that helps you explore your feelings without pressure or judgement.
Can I talk to Holly about loneliness?
Yes – loneliness is something Holly works with often. Whether it’s short-term or something that’s been with you for a while, you’re welcome to talk about it in your sessions.
Do I need to have a ‘serious problem’ to speak to Holly?
Not at all. You don’t need a label or diagnosis to come to therapy. If something’s been weighing on your mind – even if you can’t quite put your finger on it – it’s worth talking about.
Does Holly offer online therapy?
Yes – Holly offers both online and in-person sessions, so you can choose what feels right for you.
How do I book a session with Holly?
You can get in touch through the contact page and book a session via Calendly.
No pressure, no obligation – just a friendly hello to start with.
If you’re feeling lonely, please know that you’re not alone in this. Help is out there – and things can change, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.
You matter. And support is here when you’re ready.